i feel the gravity

of

the love,
the loss,

so close || this close.

almost, almost, almost

buoyed, then anchored

an internal saltwater aquifer suffusing me

with a congestive heartbreak

it, swelling and stiffening my limbs
and, i cant walk to you or anyone,
i am beached in my own body

my eyes fill my mouth, my throat
and, i can’t talk to you or anyone,
i have been muted by our illicit drug

so i

swallow,
swallow,
swallow

the sea inside of me

else, i

drown, drown, drown

in it,

i am not a mermaid
i am merely a human woman

yet my belly’s pregnant
with an Ocean

and, you know that

she’s y/ours

[ i’ve named her Inez ]