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“Lara walked along the tracks following a path worn by pilgrims and then turned into the fields. Here she stopped and, closing her eyes, took a deep breath of the flower-scented air of the broad expanse around her. It was dearer to her than her kin, better than a lover, wiser than a book. 

For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment and to call each thing by its right name, or, if this were not within her power, to give birth out of love for life to successors who would do it in her place.”

- Boris Pasternak

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She was here on Earth,

for now

to nurture
a lone patch of milkweed
for the last monarch butterflies looking to land from the fiery skies

to make sure that some stalks of aster and goldenrod
remain, entangled and kissing
on the day this most brutal World dies

to sweep an old concrete slab every day until
the blue snakes shed their final skins

to let the crows drink from her mouth
a last sip — from the great lake,

known as michigan //

and to keep some seeds

sweetgrass, corn,
melon, chile, squash
pawpaw, cedar, oak,
maple, blackberry, datura, bean

in a jar, made from micaceous clay

---

---

sparkling, and sealed with her own blood-made mud

for when inevitably, arrives that day,

then, she’ll clasp it in her wrinkled, sun-spotted hand

and bury herself along with it, deep within this land,

so the Earth, right here,

might, one day,

become a home for life, once again.

Continue reading “purpose:” →

the rain starts
then pummels
birds descend from their roosts in trees
they’d already abandoned feeders, baths, meadows and prairies
now queuing one by one
down into the bramble
grounding themselves
without air traffic controller directives and guidance
from the torrent of wind and rain
and possibly, hail

// how have i never noticed this procession/
this choreographed safety dance to firmament //

those manicured landscapes, lawns, shrubs
the “smithification” & “kleinschmidtification”
the topiarification,
the modernization,
the suburbanization,
then re-gentrification
— those perfectly clean lines of uniformity
and complicity,
their kempt lawns
and unbroken windows-theory obedience
to property values
none of that offers true shelter

---

nor do the hospitals, schools, mosques, designated safe zones, “humanitarian” airdrops on beaches ///

there is nothing in this natural or built World that escapes comparison to Gaza, right now,

not even native or migratory bird behavior observed during storms in Bucolia, America

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Continue reading “bramble” →

light overcoming darkness
on half the sphere’s horizon
but no where else

the Sun shining a bit longer
on death
by war and famine and violence
each day now

the sphere of power willfully deluminating
our screens, the world, our souls

curating our light and dark, a false, distorted, disorienting equinox

that’s only half of it

we close our eyes to it

we go to the cinema
we wear darker sunglasses
we look eternally west instead of east
we put a ballot into a black hole, and
pretend sunshine might escape, emerge from it

Continue reading “Spring in the time of genocide” →

the red-winged black birds
brown-headed cowbirds
starlings
& common grackles are here
roosting in old elm and black walnut trees
talking,
singing
by the way,
they are not common-looking:
their head feathers are a gorgeous
iridescent peacock blue
of course the Crows are here:
they live here

by the way,

i am making a black walnut banana bread
with overripened bananas

i can’t not eat these 3 bananas, somehow;

i cannot give them up to compost, or set them out for possums, raccoons this time / i have to eat them, use them, myself — right this minute

i insist //

have you seen the children’s rib cages, eye sockets, skulls, their femurs

i saw the same emaciation, wasting of my friend’s body / stage 4 metastatic cancer / it was my first time seeing starvation up close and personal

but this is not cellular cancer.

there is a known cure! //

Continue reading “the insistence of blackbirds singing in the dead of day” →

what a strange modern creature
she is
wholly without ambition
this is not to say,
without competition
or without any temptation to unfollow her path

she became so perplexingly contented,
in her own self, so grounded in herself, nearly buried

that she simply forgot she was actually vulnerable, alive and living

there were times — few, when others,
almost always men, offered or lured
her with a temporary or false loft, telling her things about herself she already knew

validation is one helluva drug

and she had emanated a buoyancy, a life raft for lost souls, for arrested seekers /
this was a maiden’s heel in her, that she despised //
she, latching onto their empty breast, for some external re-nourishment
but they were hollowed out and filled in with ego, lies or greed

wholly devoid of the rich blood of life,
their milk — bland, defective or impotent

while allowing their needy suckle to drain and diminish her life force ////

Continue reading “ambition[less]” →

i wake up pre-dawn
and light a candle

the wind, pristine and strong,
whistling cold through an opened window
my preferred lullaby for a few hours more

i wake again,
this time, my home revolving into the
ancient light

and to familiar jurassic sounds
vocalizations of sandhill cranes

my bed is warmed by vintage wool and living fur
/ like my ancestors, sort of /

Continue reading “rural, march, morning, sunday sky, 2024” →

he’s visited me three times, now
the first time in over a dozen years
i am glad to see him

her visits make more sense
it’s only been
october to november,
november to december
december to …
four and a half months

well,
this doesn’t bode
well

i leave a coin on my dresser
in front of a foto of him
i challenge him to flip the coin

i situate the silver bell on my nightstand
nearer to a photo of her
i challenge her to ring the bell

i think about pulling a card

not yet. not yet.

the black flies
and ladybugs of these
warming winters
droves sounds dramatic
but dozens, hundreds of each hatching
in the southern windows
boxelder bugs too
not amityville horror-level
i know now that was bullshit,
no evil entity need exist (save for my kind)
all old country houses are nurseries for
insecta

gutted the bathroom and found
1000 black walnuts beneath the tub
and later, inside the kitchen doorway lintel,
a red squirrel’s deep nest, convenient, efficient
all old country houses are potential residence for rodentia

absent humans (my kind)
abandoned for a year or two,
the wild begins to reclaim

and who doesn’t want in, after all?

i did, i wanted in
found myself let in, found my own way in — or
what does it really matter.
i was in.

Continue reading “in or out” →

she negotiated her mortality
prematurely

suddenly, but not unexpectedly

the many days over 30 years
she imagined or wished herself gone
she wears like a scarlet letter,
better a moss green letter, a french blue one

A for Agony
A for Asshole
A for “A”, school girl, good girl
A for Antigone
A for Anam

the tears, wasted and years, squandered
tethering her to expectations of men and mothers
to shame and insignificance
to dumb successes and false failures

Continue reading ““A” is for” →