Continue reading “prouf of lyfe: in search of lost tyme”
Category: Crone Consciousness
summer
june, you, monthlong solstice
your 30 days of day
of Light’s false dominion /
he suggests a good way to estimate
the number of roses on my climbing rose bush
is to count the number of buds and blossoms on one linear foot of branch
so, I do.
there are 60 or more
i probably missed some
then 6,000? or more?! on this eight year old gem
how many june bouquets, boutonnières and corsages they would a florist supply
instead,
i keep them all for future rose hips,
and refuse to prune
unless a branch cracks under
the weight of drenched petals in this year’s wild june rainstorms
so many vases i have filled this june.
i suggest that i may create a perimeter of this variety of rose
an impenetrable devastating fortress of thornage — a natural, beautiful “devil’s rope”
i once saw a group of mule deer clear an 8′ fence in colorado — without a running start, could a herd of robot dogs do that?
he sees i’ve saved old nails, screws and Mexican coke and beer bottle caps in an empty 3lb coffee tin
Continue reading “summer”fawn
yester day
i counted more than 30 species of birds, here
first, i kept a running list in my head
then, i made a google doc to share
and i didn’t even know there was an organized
bird migration count happening
until after the fact /
this morning,
it finally felt
vernal
warm, new air,
a gentle breeze
the exact kind of day to find a fawn nested in the tall grasses around a mulberry or walnut tree
while her mother is off foraging
every one is being born today
every one is dying today
somewhere
it seems //
i can’t remember what it feels like to be a beloved daughter
i can’t remember what it feels like to be a loving daughter
now, repeat those sentences with the word mother instead of daughter
everything is drifting,
has drifted
every thing is being pulled away,
has pulled away
the gravity of me is no longer enough
to hold these familiar bodies in orbit
in a system of we,
in a galaxy of us,
we existed,
only on paper, i think.
but not on kodak paper; you hated
both portraits & candids,
& taught me to hate them too/
and today,
on “World Migratory Bird Day”
the May Plow arrived even as every one is
gestating,
laboring,
birthing,
nesting,
laying,
birds, turtles, deer,
chipmunks,
wild turkeys, cranes,
geese and snakes
the timing of these men with their machines is so detached
from the cycle of Earthling life:
mothering,
arriving,
hatching,
latching,
nursing
feeding
raising and rearing.
protecting.
the products of men with their machines are fertilized with phosphate, nitrogen, ammonia, urea
unironically sourced from the Fertile Crescent
shipped via the Strait of Hormuz
because their forefathers, not foremothers, strip-mined the soil of Turtle Island, barren, a hundred years or more, ago
you manifested your destiny !!
so,
happy-and-proud Semiquincentennial,
dear western european Whitey ////
americans of empathetic, inclusive and courageous consciousness:
Stop focusing your energy
on the effectively useless,
always selective,
always tenuous,
always exclusive,
always revocable,
First Amendment,
right now.
right fucking now.
Continue reading “americans of empathetic, inclusive and courageous consciousness:”in absentia
i carry on in absentia
dialogues
monologues — rhetoric, socratic, analytic,
with — and for, people i once
knew,
had,
loved,
who i have lost or misplaced,
or
who have lost or misplaced me,
in some way,
The time is NOW for applied anti-fascist actions of resistance and desistance and acts of courage —firstly, by elected and sworn state and local leadership
political & ideological opposition is meaningless now
Billionaire JB Pritzker, the current Governor of the State of Illinois in an annual constitutionally mandated “State Of The State” address of February 19, 2025, questioned the near and long-term State of the Union — of the United States of America,
the relevant paragraphs are excerpted below with a link to the full transcript:
Continue reading “The time is NOW for applied anti-fascist actions of resistance and desistance and acts of courage —firstly, by elected and sworn state and local leadership”The Break-Up of The United States of America
If birthright citizenship granted by the U.S. Constitution will be bastardized or revoked; to potentially exclude 574 Federally recognized Indigenous Tribal Nations;
if the U.S. is leaving WHO;
if the NIH, CDC, FDA and USDA are intentionally incommunicado during an endemic, debilitating chronic virus — with another potential pandemic on the global horizon — and may be permanently silenced or defunded;
if the U.S. Government won’t recognize, adhere to or enforce the United Nations International Criminal Court findings, rulings, sanctions and warrants on human rights violations and war crimes;
if the U.S. Government has withdrawn from the Paris Climate Agreement both by action, inaction and officially; if the U.S government is abandoning climate mitigation and bio-diversity loss mitigation both by action, inaction and officially;
if FEMA is to be dissolved and defunded amid increasing, expanding and worsening anthropogenic-caused or accelerated climate catastrophes;
if Federal income tax collection may cease, to be replaced by tariffs or other regressive tax; or the working classes will be further over-burdened by Federal income tax collection even as the Federal programs that crucially and critically support or supplement life and lives are weakened or eliminated;
and granted, these institutions, agencies and policies are deficient, mismanaged or corrupted in some way or many ways;
if the two political parties in the U.S. Government are entrenched without possible legitimate political, military or civic challenge; if the three separate branches of the U.S. Government are in virtual lock-step as an autocracy; and, if there is de facto rule of the United States of America by oligarchy;
then,
“smiles and cries”
coming into full being as a crone, one thing i have learned — and practice — is to not suppress my emotions or thoughts
whether in private, shared, or public space
but to feel or express them right then (with very rare exceptions) —
and to NOT control “my smiles and cries”
i spend a significant amount of time solo —largely, by choice,
so, when I feel immense grief or joy, or experience beauty or pain, humor or outrage,
i let my tears
or my teeth
or my uvula
or my tongue
or
my voice
be in the moment,
and this often manifests even if i am in a public space
i have become as uninhibited and honest — as a young child,
or — as someone on their death bed.
Continue reading ““smiles and cries””january 10 2025
a sweet spot, a warm, quiet evening,
of a too-soft winter here,
on & of the good Earth,
that tempts the comfortable one
to flirt with forgetting
the hard totality
of this hot and cold, man-made,
loud and brutal World.
the Anti-Übermensch
if there was a Mother God,
if God was a Mother,
not “were”
this wouldn’t be
our reality
a dying planet
a deadened polity
mass extinction by chainsaw, net,
bolt-gun or bomb
they said, “96% of children in Gaza feel that death is imminent”
in Sudan, the famine is massive,
oh, this reaper, he is very discriminate
in Congo, there’s mass enslavement for minerals,
see the phone in her hand?! her hypocrisy?! she can’t claim to be innocent!
the Pacific’s so hot,
that it’s killed 4 million murres
while the Indigenous still invoke
“cultural rights” to baby seal furs
therefore,
God is either male — or, truer,
the God who created everything,
was the very first one extincted,
as Nietzsche,
and the german thinkers before him,
all, belatedly said,
slouching toward bethlehem
i resist stirring, opening my eyes, or thinking
as the dog wakes, and waits
i am in the center of another dawn-dream,
on the precipice of
experiencing some thing, of understanding some thing
but it cannot hold,
evaporating
with every
slouch toward consciousness
i open my eyes to
the grey of the room, to the dark white gyre of the sky through these generous windows
i open my ears
to the beat
of crystals pummeling these generous windows,
once and again, realizing
i possess slow thighs,
heavy lungs, a heavier heart,
an entire weighted mass,
and a mind — less than half-known / half-known
i want to re-bury myself in the warm sands of sleep, the enveloping weightless numb
and drift back to
the liminal/
this must be the
feeling
of the fully-gestated
unborn fetus, warm,
quiet, still
waiting to be born
yet resisting being known, moving on
contemplating intent, consent, kill lists and ceasefire: deer hunting season, regular firearm, November 15 – 30, 2024 Michigan, U.S.
“The assumption that animals are without rights and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity. Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.”
which was presumed to be of exclusive use of songbirds — especially, eastern bluebirds,
on the land the author occupies
Halloween 2024
“all treatery, no trickery”
Regular firearm, deer hunting season began yesterday in Michigan, United States of America, and the crack of rifles and the blast of shotguns destroy both peace and life.
There is some version of a legalized, defined kill list or belated, legalized “protection list” for nearly every non-human animal being population on Earth. And, for human animal being populations on Earth too.
What defines murder for human beings, of the human animal body?
INTENT.
All Hunting is INTENT – intent to kill.
All animal “livestock” agriculture is INTENT — intent to kill for profit.
Genocide is INTENT.
Continue reading “contemplating intent, consent, kill lists and ceasefire: deer hunting season, regular firearm, November 15 – 30, 2024 Michigan, U.S.”phenology II
lilacs re-leaf, re-bloom
in October
hummingbird moths feed,
— not cultivars —
in unprecedented re-leaf and re-bloom
October 12, 2024
and simultaneously,
She’s un-be-coming a human be-ing
She’s destined to,
we’re destined to, too
no
need to
tell me, explain
what’s happening
as constant witness,
as constant, remote witness
to slaughter,
as constant gardener,
as constant tender,
as constant
daughter,
i see.
i recognize.
i know,
Continue reading “phenology II”ghosts
if you’re seeing this, you’re alive,
though dying — no matter your age, health, relative safety, relative comfortability —
on this living, though suffering and actively dying, planet
Earthlings and Earth together in a protracted hospice
right now, in these brief years, these grief years,
we are the “ever-living ghosts of what once was”
a “was” that most all of us alive this morning have never known as lived experience — save for the untouched tribes — 10,000 Uncontacted Peoples — 10,000 unsystematized, “uncivilized”
and the Ocean, and the few, still-standing Ancient One Trees; the untouched Desert, and the Mountains — even the youngest of them — The Tetons and The Himalayas, know what it “was” to be alive.
we are mere ghosts, walking dead.
institutional knowledge
another part of mourning, an enduring part of mourning:
the loss of the “institutional knowledge” of you that they alone held, documented and archived;
when
a life-long, childhood or early adulthood friend
a beloved mother, or grandmother, or father,
a harmonious sibling, a close cousin
a long-time lover,
a partner in a long marriage, officiated — or not
a child whom you birthed or raised and who may have also birthed or raised you, have mercy.
when, those relationships become one-sided through death — or other endings,
not only are they gone,
Continue reading “institutional knowledge”
